He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
