Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
