And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So apparently I’m into choking now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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