worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize