Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
