Cold hands, warm shart.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
