I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize