Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
