Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
too bad you live with your parents still
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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