I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
