brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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