East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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