I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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