Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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