Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
