Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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