Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
