He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
