Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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