Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think i have herpe
just one?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
