just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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