On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
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