Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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