They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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