stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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