glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
