im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
