So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
