Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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