party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
