just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
