Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
