Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
