Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
