oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
