Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
