I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
