We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
