great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
