she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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