At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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