dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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