I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
