I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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