Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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