Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize