i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
