When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
