got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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