am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
