i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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