In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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