omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
