Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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