Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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