i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
