ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
