her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
