I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She even gives head with a lisp.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
