I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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