Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
