im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
