My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
