i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
