I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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