i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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